All hail the mighty Dimblebot ( seriously, check out @dimblebot)
I love Question Time (BBC1, Thursdays, 10:35pm). It's an institution. Like the Queen's speech. Or a mental hospital.
The problem with Question Time, is it's a little entrenched in itself. A few party politicians will come out with varying levels of eloquence. Some very good (Caroline Flint, Ed Davey, William Hague), some very bad (Tessa Jowell, Susan Kramer, David Willetts) and some so unabashedly in love with the party line they seem to lack individual personality or capability past that of a Dictaphone (Baroness Warsi, Sarah Teather and far too many Labour ministers for my liking). There might be a token comedy historian, such as Starkey with his odd facial expression like Doc Brown witnessing a newt molesting the delicate earlobes of Prince Charles, a random celebrity who will almost always be useless (Will Young's 'Leave Right Now' became increasingly appropriate over his hour on air, and some 'professional' who has 'insight' and by 'insight' we mean 'is usually an arrogant bellend'.
This cycle continues with varied levels of blandness and is only usually offset by a truly barmy panelist going off on one. A good example of this is the Apprentice's resident mare, Katie Hopkins, then standing as an independent MEP, going all Tea-Party and calling for elitist, free-market higher education. The Lib Dem on the panel, if I remember rightly, was horrified. How shit changes. One could also mention Nigel Farage, a man who, if he was any more sure of himself, would have to go around dressed as a textbook or Mary Beard who seemed to be channeling a Hogwarts divination professor.
So what can be done to 'mix it up' and make politics all exciting for the kiddies? Here are a few of my suggestions but feel free to leave your own.
1. Based on twitter reactions to the debate, halfway through the show, the least popular panelist is taken to stand in the middle of the studio. David Dimbleby then pours a bucket of slime over their head. Everyone returns to their seats and the show continues as normal.
2. Conservatives and Liberal Democrats have to share seats, OR, their seats are taped back to back so only one can speak at a time. They must then fight for dominance.
3. Background dancers. Everyone loves them on the X Factor.
4. When David calls on audience members he should use vicious personal attacks. No more 'You there, in the purple sweater!' and a bit more 'You there, with the hideous acne and last season's River Island cardigan behind the woman with the bad 80's perm!'
5. One edition every year to take place in an aquarium, so even if the debate is dull we can still comment on the marine life in the background. Magnificent.
6. If the show falls on Halloween, or the 13th of any given month, Paxman gets to host it.
7. If tuition fees are going to be brought up over and over, maybe get a Student representative on the panel for a bloody change! (Yes, that one was actually serious. I'm shocked too.)
Anyhoo, those are some ramblings. I am off to go do useful things like... read up on European Law. Because I hate myself.
The problem with Question Time, is it's a little entrenched in itself. A few party politicians will come out with varying levels of eloquence. Some very good (Caroline Flint, Ed Davey, William Hague), some very bad (Tessa Jowell, Susan Kramer, David Willetts) and some so unabashedly in love with the party line they seem to lack individual personality or capability past that of a Dictaphone (Baroness Warsi, Sarah Teather and far too many Labour ministers for my liking). There might be a token comedy historian, such as Starkey with his odd facial expression like Doc Brown witnessing a newt molesting the delicate earlobes of Prince Charles, a random celebrity who will almost always be useless (Will Young's 'Leave Right Now' became increasingly appropriate over his hour on air, and some 'professional' who has 'insight' and by 'insight' we mean 'is usually an arrogant bellend'.
This cycle continues with varied levels of blandness and is only usually offset by a truly barmy panelist going off on one. A good example of this is the Apprentice's resident mare, Katie Hopkins, then standing as an independent MEP, going all Tea-Party and calling for elitist, free-market higher education. The Lib Dem on the panel, if I remember rightly, was horrified. How shit changes. One could also mention Nigel Farage, a man who, if he was any more sure of himself, would have to go around dressed as a textbook or Mary Beard who seemed to be channeling a Hogwarts divination professor.
So what can be done to 'mix it up' and make politics all exciting for the kiddies? Here are a few of my suggestions but feel free to leave your own.
1. Based on twitter reactions to the debate, halfway through the show, the least popular panelist is taken to stand in the middle of the studio. David Dimbleby then pours a bucket of slime over their head. Everyone returns to their seats and the show continues as normal.
2. Conservatives and Liberal Democrats have to share seats, OR, their seats are taped back to back so only one can speak at a time. They must then fight for dominance.
3. Background dancers. Everyone loves them on the X Factor.
4. When David calls on audience members he should use vicious personal attacks. No more 'You there, in the purple sweater!' and a bit more 'You there, with the hideous acne and last season's River Island cardigan behind the woman with the bad 80's perm!'
5. One edition every year to take place in an aquarium, so even if the debate is dull we can still comment on the marine life in the background. Magnificent.
6. If the show falls on Halloween, or the 13th of any given month, Paxman gets to host it.
7. If tuition fees are going to be brought up over and over, maybe get a Student representative on the panel for a bloody change! (Yes, that one was actually serious. I'm shocked too.)
Anyhoo, those are some ramblings. I am off to go do useful things like... read up on European Law. Because I hate myself.
2 comments:
How about fancy dress? Panellists in fancy dress. Everyone loves fancy dress. And they have a budget of £5.
I definitely approve of the bucket of slime idea. Hugh Hendry this week would have been covered in the shit. :P
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