The great X-Factor auditions controversy

Waa-waa-waa boo-bloody-hoo. Look, I love a good bit of social networking to comment on TV. Twitter and facebook are half the bloody reasons to watch stuff like Apprentice, Question Time and the X Factor live as they air rather than recording them for later. It's fun to have causal banter about who should win (OMFG, DIversity 4EVA!!) and who should not (Ruth Lorenzo is ttl shte haha blaad :D) or make irreverent comments about politicians (Why does Margaret Beckett look like she's been drawn by Quentin Blake?). BUT all of this pales into comparison with what happened last Saturday. Last Saturday the X-Factor auditions moved from a dingy room and just the judges to a full blown arena, with the contestants given backing tracks. A bit cheesy, a bit naff but not that big a deal.

But oh, no. Not for my mates. It ruined it all. A nameless Scottish acquaintance said that the transition from small room, to boot camp to TV studio showed the journey of the performer. But, but said I in an incredulous manner... this is exactly how Britain's Got Talent works and nobody cared then. They moan, they howl, it's just different they say. And I do not care one fucking jot. Get over it, it's still trash, you still love it and you'll gossip about it til January.

PS - Next week in the biggest telly shocker of all time, instead of the most attractive female judge sitting on his right (once Dannii, now Cheryl) Louis shall take this role instead. Why I hear you ask. Are they having an illicit affair? Did Cheryl finally get so thin she's starting to decompose and smell bad? I invite you to speculate.

Rosh Bakir

The Israeli version of the popular 'Brain Wall' franchise (Hole in the Wall in the UK) is utterly sodding mental. Bearing in mind that the version we know and tolerate is doolally enough you may ask how this is possible.

In the UK version a wall comes towards you with a hole in it and you have to make the shape or else be slammed into a cold pool just behind you. In Israel, 'Rosh Bakir' aka Head in the Wall, the wall stays stationary (I am trying so hard not to make separation wall/fence comments at this point as to be absurd) and there is a BACKWARDS TRAVELLATOR contestants must battle to JUMP THROUGH a hole quite high up the wall. Were this not bad enough in a retro Mario Bros sort of way obstacles travel down the travellator at the poor bastards, knocking them off their lycra clad feet and giving them little chance of regaining composure before being sped to a splashy end.


awesome