I hate Valentine Warner

I hate this man. Here is why.

1. His stupid alpaca like face. He constantly seems as if he's just coming round from the anesthetic or as if he has suffered a blunt head trauma.

2. The way he describes food is really annoying. His mint tea with sugar was 'sweet and minty'. For fucks sake.

3. I (allegedly) saw him molesting an otter

4. He seems to be almost sexually interested in pulses, beans, grains etc. and in forcing them on the public. Try my fresh peas? Nibble my broad beans? How is this not a form of grooming?

5. He called his small, lavender meringues 'fairy tits'. Then he smirked a toothy smirk and a part of my soul died.